Monday, December 6, 2010

There's So much to know about your HOO-HA ladies....

Where the HELL have YOU been? It's been awhile since you visited my Blog ya know!

Oh wait...What? You haven't come because I have been neglecting my Blog and haven't written anything new in LONG time.

Well...Hmmmpf...what kind of excuse is that?  Fine...Fine...I'll write something...GEESH you're demanding!

Okay, so what shall I write about?  Aren't you all on pins and needles wondering?

 I was going to write about some of our travels over the last couple weeks and I WILL, but today something caught my attention and it made me think I should take some time to get back to my educational roots.

If you haven't read THIS you really need to.  Brittany is a hilarious writer and THIS is what gave me today's inspiration.  So go HERE now and I'll wait for you to get back.

SEE..I TOLD you..she's HILARIOUS right.  You people REALLY need to listen to me..I know what the hell I'm talking about ya know!

So after reading that post I knew I had to share this little ditty.  Think of it as a public service announcement.

 Now over the years I have taken  a lot of flack for being a health and phys. ed teacher.

"Wow...that has to be the EASIEST job EVER.  How tough can it be to teach kids to wear deodorant and to throw a ball out for kickball..hardee har har!"

Yeah... that's HILARIOUS douchebag...PLEASE take my job for a week and then get back to me would ya.  Oh, and during that week please teach the SEX EDUCATION unit to a bunch of horny teenagers! It's a HOOT!


During one of my college health education courses this story was relayed to me and I feel it is my duty to do the same.

A girl about the age of 16 went to see her doctor because she had been sick for WEEKS and it wasn't getting any better.  To her HORROR the doctor told her she was, in fact, pregnant.

"That is IMPOSSIBLE! I am on the pill...there is NO WAY I can be pregnant!"

Doctor: Well I'm sorry honey but you ARE pregnant.  You know I told you that the pill is NOT 100% effective.  Sometimes, it can fail.  Are you sure you took the pill as directed...EVERY day at the SAME time?

"Yes...I did it the same time EVERY day. And I ALWAYS made sure it didn't fall out before I got dressed!"

Doctor:  HUH?  Wait...what do you mean you made sure it 'didn't fall out'? You did take the pill ORALLY, right?

"Ummm...orally?  I..uh...put it up know, WHERE you get pregnant."

SERIOUSLY..I am NOT making this shit up!  This girl was sticking her birth control pills up her Hoo-Ha at the SAME time EVERY day!

Obviously, the girl was well lubricated to be able to dissolve that little pill so know, before she got dressed.

I have since used this educational story during my sex ed unit.

 It NEVER fails that EVERY ONE of my students laughs and tells me how STUPID this girl must be. However,  I ASSURE you, somewhere, in one of those classrooms there was a girl (or several) that had a "lightbulb moment" that day.

So just to be clear....DO NOT put your birth control pills up your HOO-HA ladies...just SWALLOW...everyone KNOWS you can't get pregnant THAT way!


  1. Tonya, you are truly a gifted woman.Your writing is hysterical!!! Love it!!! Mickey

  2. Just swallow - haha classic