Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Follow the Recipe...Damn It!


See this recipe card? If my husband was going to make this dish do you know what he would do with this card? He would toss it aside and just do whatever the hell he wanted to!? WTF is that all about, huh? Isn't the recipe card like a map that you follow to get you to your destination safe and sound? OH... Yes that's right..it IS like a map so, of course, my husband wouldn't use it! Nope, he would just throw caution to the wind and start throwing things around the kitchen all Willy Nilly.  Never mind that his dishes end up delicious and all, but that's BESIDE the point!

 So what IS the point you ask...the point is that I follow the recipe. I do what I'm suppose to and at best my dishes turn out o.k.! To be honest, it pisses me off! I mean if the recipe says to cook something for 15 minutes isn't that what you should do? Shouldn't the damn thing be done in 15 minutes if that's what it said? What's the frickin' point of following the directions if you take it out in 15 min. and it's burnt to a crisp? Or what if it needs to cook longer?  Just how MUCH longer should I let it cook so as not to poison my family. Yes, this is what I think will happen if I don't follow the directions, EXACTLY. Somehow, I will poison my family and kill them, all because I didn't follow the directions! This may seem unreasonable, but I happen to love my family and I'm not taking any chances damn it! So when I serve them undercooked pasta or overcooked chicken just remember....it's because I LOVE them!

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